


What's Past is Past

by magnusbicon



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Angst with a Happy Ending, Coping, First Dates, First Meetings, Fluff, Fluffy Ending, M/M, Miscommunication, Pining, Strangers to Lovers, Valentine's Day, drunk!magnus, minor character death (in the past)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-12
Updated: 2018-02-12
Packaged: 2019-03-17 03:08:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13650156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magnusbicon/pseuds/magnusbicon
Summary: It wasn’t the first Valentine’s Day in which Magnus was very much single, but it was the first in which he accidentally stumbled into a date that he hadn’t had planned when he’d woken up that morning. Although he had only gone to the restaurant in which Raphael worked to order a steak and maybe a couple drinks before heading home, he found that he couldn’t resist the temptation to join the beautiful stranger sitting all alone at a table meant for two. He had given his heart away many times in his life, but something about this one felt more significant, and he was intent on finding out why.





	What's Past is Past

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Valentine's Day! <3

"Please, for the love of god, don't tell me you're here with that horrible woman again." Raphael's unamused voice sounded in Magnus' ears the second he walked into the small restaurant, and he rolled his eyes. He had come here _once_ with Camille back when they were dating, and Raphael never let him live it down, claiming that he already dealt with enough difficult people every day and he didn't need to interact with her on top of it. Of course, Magnus couldn’t really blame him now, seeing as he had been right and she was a manipulative witch, but he still found his friend’s lack of confidence in his ability to move on somewhat insulting. They had been broken up for months, and he was definitely planning on keeping it that way.

"No, I am not here with her. In fact, I'm not here with anyone. I was just craving a good steak and knew this was the best place to get one." Magnus flashed Raphael a grin, and Raphael shook his head.

The building was decorated with pink and red hearts. They hung from the ceiling and stuck to the walls,  it caused a short burst of pain to shoot through Magnus’ chest. It wasn’t the first time that he had ended up being single on Valentine’s Day, but that didn’t mean that he could stop himself from feeling lonely. His friends would tell him that the holiday was overrated, that it was just an excuse for people to brag about their relationship on social media and spend more money than usual at a fancy restaurant, and he didn’t necessarily disagree. But he was a hopeless romantic. He had given his heart away plenty of times, expecting those he trusted to handle it with care, and it had been stomped on just as often, but still, he always ended up handing it over again.

He was not a pessimist, and no matter how many times people warned him, told him that he needed to be more careful, he wouldn’t listen. There was something so rewarding about throwing caution to the wind and going out on a limb in order to find love. Maybe he was foolish for wishing that every person he hit it off with was his soulmate, but he couldn’t help it. He wanted to love someone so deeply that his heart felt like it was going to explode, and until he found that feeling of absolute surety, he was going to keep looking, no matter how long it took.

“What makes you think we have any open tables?” Raphael deadpanned. Magnus’ grin dropped, his eyes widened and expression morphed into what Catarina had long ago deemed his puppy-dog face. To most people, Raphael appeared to be cold and distant, someone who didn’t enjoy small talk or conversation in general, but Magnus knew him better than anyone. They had met when they were just boys, and they had become fast friends. Although their personalities differed greatly, they were similar in the aspect that they refused to let anyone mess with the other. It got them through their years in the foster home, and the habits never died once they were old enough to leave.

For a long time it had just been them, taking whatever jobs they could find in order to stay afloat, and along the way they picked up Catarina and Ragnor. They were a tight-knit group, the kind of friends that stuck it out through every hardship that fell upon them. They were Magnus’ rock, the reason he was alive, and he would never be able to truly convey just how much they meant to him. Somewhere along the line they had become his family, and despite all of the pain that he had gone through as a child, he wouldn’t trade them for anything.

Raphael let out a long sigh, effectively breaking Magnus out of his sentimental thoughts, and raised his eyes to the ceiling, as though he was praying for Magnus to disappear. "You're more pathetic than the guy who has been sitting here for an hour by himself without ordering anything," he said, nodding his head towards a table not too far from the entrance. Magnus turned to see a man who appeared to be around his age, with slightly messy dark hair and an overall miserable appearance. He was resting his head on one hand, and playing idly with the silverware in front of him with the other. "I think he got stood up."

"I can't imagine why. He's gorgeous." Magnus took in the man's pale skin and pink cheeks, and felt himself frown. Something about seeing the guy look so despondent made Magnus feel bad, like he had personally left him sitting there alone, and a strange sense of urgency began to curl in his stomach.

"Maybe you should sit with him and save both of yourselves any more embarrassment," Raphael muttered sarcastically, but Magnus perked up at the suggestion, a wide grin spreading across his face once more. He had come to the restaurant with the intention of eating his steak, having a drink or two, and then going home and cuddling up on the couch with Chairman Meow, but he didn’t see the harm in comforting the wounded- and very attractive- stranger.

"Great idea," he said enthusiastically, patting Raphael on the shoulder, receiving a glare in return.

Magnus looked back over at the man to see that he was pushing back in his chair, and without another word to Raphael, he rushed over. In the time that it took Magnus to get over to him, the stranger had stood up, looking much more upset upon closer inspection, and Magnus wanted to wipe the frown right off of his face. He always hated seeing people upset, especially on holidays.

"Excuse me," he said, stopping to the left of the man. "I know this may seem a little bit unorthodox, but would you like some company? You look like you could use some cheering up." He almost winced as he realized how suggestive that probably sounded, and ignored the few pairs of eyes that drifted over to him judgingly from other tables in favor of waiting for the man’s reaction.

He looked up from typing furiously on his phone, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion when he realized that he was the one being spoken to, and Magnus momentarily stopped breathing as their eyes met. The mystery man had been attractive from afar, but now that Magnus was standing right in front of him, he was hit full force with his beauty. His hazel eyes were wide, his mouth hanging open slightly at Magnus' suggestion, and something warm blossomed in Magnus’ chest.

"Oh, I- you don't have to do that. It's not really- it's not a big deal," he finally stuttered out after a few seconds of silent staring. He scratched at the back of his neck and his cheeks were growing pinker with each second that they stood there. He was adorable, but Magnus had a feeling that he was just scratching the surface with this interaction. There was a quiet confidence about him that Magnus could sense in the way he held himself, his spine straight and his shoulders pushed back, even as the indecisive expression on his face lingered.

"Nonsense,” Magnus said smoothly, gesturing at the man’s chair. “You know what they say, two is better than one." He added a wink for good measure, and he swore he saw the slightest twitch of the man's lips. Now he was getting somewhere. "I'm Magnus, by the way."

"Alec," the man replied, taking Magnus' outstretched hand in his and shaking it firmly. Finally taking Magnus’ cue from a moment before, he slowly lowered himself back into his chair, disbelief written all over his face, and Magnus followed suit, settling down across from him.

"You really don't have to do this, you know. Everyone gets stood up at some point." He said it as though it was his fault, and Magnus silently cursed whoever did this to him. It was certainly their loss, that much was obvious.

"Trust me, darling, I'm doing myself a favor more than I'm doing you one.”

The waitress approached the table then, interrupting whatever response Alec clearly had on the tip of his tongue. A friendly smile adorned her face as her eyes flit between the two of them. “You made it! Get stuck in traffic?” she asked, carefully filling up Magnus’ water glass as she spoke, and out of the corner of his eye he saw a look of shame shoot across Alec’s features.

“Yes,” Magnus replied easily, rolling his eyes and waving his hand dramatically. He felt Alec’s surprised stare on him, but he focused on the waitress- Maia, according to the nametag pinned to her shirt- and refrained from smiling and of turning to look. “The city is always so hectic on Valentine’s Day, but we’ve had these plans for weeks. I wouldn’t miss spending time with my love for anything.” He reached across the table and intertwined his fingers with Alec’s, pushing down the electric feeling running through his veins, and savored the sweet smile that was radiating from Maia’s face.

He had never seen her at the restaurant before, which certainly worked in his favor considering that at this point he knew most of the staff and the rest of them would see right through his facade. He had a feeling that he was going get a speech from Raphael later, berating him about just how sappy and pathetic he was, whether or not it was an act, but witnessing the look on Alec’s face as Maia went to go get the drinks that they ordered was completely worth it.

“Have you done this before?” Alec asked incredulously, but there was an underlying tone of amusement that caused Magnus smirked at him.

“Alexander, did you truly believe I’d never been on a date before?” he asked coyly, tilting his head. Alec’s eyes roamed up his neck in the least subtle way possible, and then shook his head slowly, as though he was breaking himself out of a daze.

“No one calls me that, and that isn’t what I meant, of course,” he answered, and Magnus expected him to blush, but instead he just raised a challenging eyebrow, his eyes not leaving Magnus’ own. And there it was, that confidence that Magnus had sensed was lying beneath his rosy cheeks and stuttering words before. He had been out of his element at first, but it was abundantly clear that this was far from his first date as well, and it sent a shiver down Magnus’ spine. Sometimes it was nice to go out with people who were a little bit unsure of themselves, to witness their gentleness and hesitation, but someone being well-versed in their wants and needs was a quality that Magnus also found hard to resist.

“Pretended to be someone’s boyfriend, you mean? Only once before this. I accompanied a lovely young lady to her family party upon her request, because she wanted to get her father off of her back about finding a man to settle down with. She had already been dating her girlfriend for almost a year, unbeknownst to him. Unfortunately, I got a bit too drunk in the midst of my acting and ended up knocking over her father’s drink and spilling it on his very expensive suit, and he prohibited her from seeing me anymore when I offered him my pants as an apology.”

Alec drank up every word, a tiny smile tilting up the corner of his lips, and Magnus’ heart beat just a little bit faster. He supposed this wasn’t much different from a blind date. They hadn’t met before that day, but he wanted to get to know this man, learn his mannerisms and memorize his expressions, find out what made him laugh and make it happen every chance he got. Alec looked like he had a beautiful smile, and it certainly wasn’t something Magnus wanted to miss out on. He had never been quite as intrigued as this before, and he didn’t want to pass up any opportunity he got to find someone he could have a real connection with. He certainly felt like they were on the same page, if their mutual agreement to play the boyfriend role was anything to go by.

It turned into somewhat of a competition. Who could send the other the fondest look, who could make up the sappiest story on the spot, who could prove that they knew the other better by stating random facts that for all they knew could be completely false. Magnus felt somewhat bad for forcing Maia to listen to their antics, and he could tell that her initial impression of them had soured as the night progressed, seeing as they were acting like the world’s most publicly affectionate couple to ever exist. By the end of it Magnus had almost convinced _himself_ that they were actually together, and when the check came, he didn’t hesitate to grab it before Alec could, ignoring his protests and slipping his card inside before handing it back to Maia immediately.

“You’ve already done enough for me tonight,” Alec mumbled as she walked away, his bottom lip jutting out a little bit as he pouted. “You should have let me pay.”

“Like I said before,” Magnus replied, waving off Alec’s words, “this was more of a favor to me than it was to you. I had a good time.” The words came out softer than he had intended, but he found that he didn’t mind as he lifted his gaze to meet Alec’s. The man stared back at him, his gaze warm, and Magnus wondered if maybe he had hit the jackpot with this one. He was sweet, funny, sarcastic, and someone who already seemed to understand Magnus in a way that few people did. His presence was comforting, and the disappointment that welled up inside of Magnus when nothing required them to linger any more was not lost on him.

“Do you want to go for a walk?” Alec asked suddenly, the nervousness from the beginning of the night making a reappearance as he fiddled with his napkin. The tablecloth shook slightly as he bounced his leg up and down underneath it, and Magnus offered him a wide smile as Maia returned with his card and he signed the receipt.

“I would love to, Alexander.”

And just like that, Alec smiled widely, teeth and all, and Magnus’ heart practically flew out of his chest and landed on his sleeve. He hadn’t come to the restaurant with any intention to meet someone. He would have been foolish to expect such a thing, especially on Valentine’s Day. Yet somehow he had ended up in this moment, sitting across from a gorgeous man who liked listening to his crazy stories and laughed at his poorly concealed innuendos, and he already felt himself slipping into the place he always did when he really liked someone, the place where he let himself believe that maybe it was more than just a good night out. Maybe this was his person.

Under Maia’s attentive gaze, Magnus offered Alec his hand as they stood up, and they walked out of the restaurant with their fingers entwined. Magnus sent a wink to Raphael as they passed by, to which he received another eye roll in return. The night air was brisk, and Magnus let out a long breath, watching it curl up into the sky as he fell into step beside Alec. He felt more vulnerable now, more exposed, and he wondered whether that was a good thing or a bad thing. In the restaurant it had been an act, a way of preserving dignity and having fun, but out in the city it became something real, especially considering the fact that neither of them had made any move to let go of the other’s hand.

“Did you know the person who left you there alone?” Magnus asked softly, breaking the comfortable silence that they had previously been enveloped in. He hoped that he wasn’t overstepping, but he was extremely curious. He didn’t see how anyone in their right mind could take just one look at Alec and not want to spend their night with him in any capacity.

Alec sighed and nodded, letting out a quiet laugh that didn’t have much humor in it. “I went on one date with him before. It didn’t really go well, considering he was on his phone the whole time and just grunted every time I tried to start up an actual conversation. But I saw how excited my siblings were to go out for Valentine’s Day, and for once I just wanted to not sit inside and do nothing, so I took a chance and invited him out again. I have no idea how I didn’t see it coming. I guess I was just hoping that he would realize his mistake from last time. But then he didn’t show, and I was about to give up and just go home and order takeout…and then you came along.”

Magnus turned his head to see that Alec was already looking at him, something surprisingly fond in his expression. His eyes were bright, reflecting the light of the buildings around then, and Magnus had to focus on his breathing instead of on how soft Alec’s lips looked and how much he liked the stubble on his face and how he had never clicked with someone quite so fast before and how that information was equally terrifying and enthralling. A few seconds went by before he realized that neither of them were watching where they were going, and he looked forward again, willing his heart to stop racing. This was only the beginning, the start of something that he already knew he never wanted to end, but he didn’t want to get his hopes too high.

“So, what’s your story?” Alec asked, squeezing Magnus’ hand gently, as though he was conveying that he was little bit overwhelmed too and wanted to simplify things. “What brought you to the restaurant by yourself on Valentine’s Day?”

“Well, I suppose my reason isn’t much different from yours, barring the unreliable date. One of my best friends works at the restaurant and I figured it was preferable that I went there as opposed to sitting at home with my cat the entire night.”

Alec laughed at that, and the conversation picked up from there. Magnus talked more about his friends, and Alec described what he did on an average day at his job. It never felt forced or uncomfortable like it had so many times in the past, and as Magnus walked home, Alec’s number fresh in his contacts, he had a strong feeling that he wasn’t mistaking the connection they had.

Except.

Alec didn’t answer any of his texts or calls over the next few days. Now, Magnus could be a patient man when he wanted to be. He understood the appeal of making someone wait so that by the time they made contact again both of them were longing for more. More conversation, more common ground, more _anything_. It was a tactic that he had used plenty of times himself, but he assumed that it would be different with Alec. Sure, they had acted when they were in the restaurant, but that was a singular moment. Magnus was tired of playing games and being unsure. He wanted something solid, something that would last, and if Alec wasn’t planning on giving that to him then there was no point in dwelling on it.

That didn’t stop him from pestering Catarina until she freed up a spot in her schedule to come visit him at the loft, though. She was a busy woman, constantly pulling 12 hour shifts at the hospital and often at times working overtime due to the shortage of nurses, but she always made time for Magnus when he needed it. He had never understood why she would want to spend the majority of her time doing such strenuous work, but then again he supposed that he wasn’t much different. He was constantly looking for ways to help those who were less fortunate than himself, because he had been there before and he knew how agonizing it was to feel helpless and out of control.

Her knock was like a breath of fresh air, and he pulled her into a hug the second the door was open, all the while still holding a glass of whiskey. She looked tired, but her eyes were clear, and she was wearing the same expression that she always did whenever Magnus spontaneously invited her over.

“Is this about Camille again? Because I have been up for over 24 hours and I don’t have the energy to discuss her bitchiness right now,” she said sternly, squeezing his arm and then pulling at the sleeves of her coat as she walked further into the loft. Magnus rolled his eyes, but couldn’t hold back the smile that spread across his face. Cat was not the type of friend who told him what he wanted to hear. She told him what he didn’t know he _needed_ to hear, and he would always be grateful for that, even if it didn’t always feel like the best method in the moment.

“No, it is not about Camille. Why does everybody keep assuming that?” Cat shot him a glare and shook her head.

“You may like to fool yourself into thinking otherwise, but you have a history of making terrible decisions. Especially when it comes to that sorry excuse for a human being.”

Magnus sighed and walked across the room to drop down onto his favorite chair. He set his glass down on the coffee table and rested his elbows on his knees, staring at the floor. “I met someone else, and I thought that there was something there, but...once again I let my heart jump out of my chest and run full speed ahead while my brain was left behind. I keep doing this to myself over and over again, and I wonder why things never work out for me.”

Cat was quiet for a moment, and then walked over and squatted down in front of him, taking one of his hands in both of hers. “You are the most loving and caring man that I have ever met, and you should not fault yourself for that. One day you are going to meet someone whose heart will meet yours halfway, and you’ll forget about all of the others that couldn’t keep up before. You will find your person, Magnus. But until then, we are going to Hunters Moon and drinking there because the last thing you need is to be cooped up in your loft any longer. Let’s go.”

An hour and a half and eight drinks later, the world was spinning and Magnus was laughing and he had no idea why, but at least he wasn’t thinking. In fact, he was fairly sure he had lost the ability to think about three drinks ago. Cat was standing at the bar talking to Dot- flirting, by the look of it- while Luke, Ragnor, and Raphael participated in a round of darts. Magnus sat at a table, clutching his empty glass in his hands watching the scene around him with uncomprehending eyes. He had needed this night, needed the distractions and the company and the overall feeling that everything was going to be okay.

He felt good, _great_ even, like he could finally take a satisfying breath and just lean back and relax. But then three people walked in the door and he felt more like throwing up. Because he recognized that dark, messy hair and those wide, hazel eyes even from across the room in his drunken state, and even though he knew he should have looked away the second he realized, he couldn’t bring himself to. Alec looked miserable, with purple circles under his eyes and furrowed eyebrows and an overall aura of discontent as he watched his siblings stumble over to the bar. They already appeared to be tipsy at the least, and he was clearly the designated driver.

Magnus was supposed to be mad, furious that the man had sparked hope inside of him and left it to fizzle out before it ever got a chance to really catch on and spread, but then Alec caught his eye and they were just staring at each other and all of his negative emotions flew out the window in seconds. He was supposed to be stronger than this, but there was just something about this man that got under his skin, and not in a bad way. The pull was like an unstoppable force, and he didn’t even _want_ to stop it. He wanted to let it take him where it pleased and get lost in it.

“Magnus,” Alec’s soft voice reached his ears, and he looked up to see that he was now standing right in front of him, and maybe there _was_ still a little bit of anger lingering inside of him, because he felt like exploding as the only other word to come out of Alec’s mouth was, “Hi.”

Magnus looked at him for a few seconds, his heart battling with his brain, and then he stood up. He swayed for a moment, nearly falling backwards into his chair again, but Alec grabbed onto his arms to keep him upright, and there was that electricity again. It surged through his veins like wildfire, but he ignored it in favor of scowling and attempting to push past Alec before he did something stupid like kiss him or forgive him.

“My brother passed away five years ago, two days after Valentine’s Day,” Alec blurted out desperately. Magnus froze, his jaw clenching as the words sunk in. He could feel Alec’s eyes on his back, but he couldn’t bring himself to turn around. Not yet. “It’s why I always spent the day alone. I couldn’t bear the thought of sitting at a restaurant with someone and laughing and having a good time knowing what happened just two days later that year before, and then it just kept going on and on like that until almost five years had passed, and this year I managed to convince myself that I was being stupid. He’s gone, and staying home isn’t going to bring him back. So this year I finally let myself try, and I thought that getting stood up was a sign that I never should’ve left my apartment in the first place. But then you showed up out of nowhere with your gorgeous smile and you were so kind, and for once I just...stopped.”

Magnus felt more- certainly not completely, but more- sober now, and he finally turned around to face Alec, stepping closer when he saw his eyes full of unshed tears. If there was one thing that he hadn’t been expecting to see that night, it was that. His heart physically hurt at the sight, and it took everything in him not to reach out and comfort him. He wasn’t sure it was his place.

Alec took a deep breath to collect himself, and then he continued, his voice lowered and less rushed. “I stopped thinking and wondering and I just let myself live in the moment, and it was amazing. The way you made me feel that night was something I’d never experienced before, because I’d never _let_ myself, and I know you have no reason to, but please try to trust me when I say that I wanted to call you back and tell you all of this. My siblings and I made a tradition where we get together and hang out and talk about all of the good memories, and it usually ends up lasting a while. It didn’t exactly go well this time, though, which is why they’re getting plastered right now. I know I should’ve mentioned that before, but I didn’t think it was something that should’ve been brought up on a first date. I’m sorry.”

Magnus was speechless, unable to think of a single response to any of the information that was just thrown at him. He was too drunk, too caught up in the racing of his heart and the urge to touch Alec in some way. He needed fresh air, and to think about what he wanted to do without having those big hazel eyes looking right at him. Alec seemed to sense this, and he offered Magnus a small smile. It didn’t do anything to make him look less downcast, and Magnus tried to ignore the regretful feeling in his stomach. He hated how fast he had gotten sucked into his feelings. He felt like he was in a storm, being whipped around with the wind and unable to grab onto something and plant himself on solid ground.

“I’ll call you a cab,” Alec said, already holding his phone to his ear, and Magnus nodded. He stumbled over to his friends while he waited, and told them he was going home. They eyed Alec suspiciously, but Magnus didn’t offer them any information, way too tired to even think about where to begin.

Alec walked him out, his hand pressed gently between Magnus’ shoulders, and Magnus wanted to melt into him then and there, to hold his hand again and press him into the wall and kiss him until he forgot his own name. But then the cab pulled up and his eyelids were already drooping and he was so _exhausted_ , so he let Alec open the car door for him and his heart only stopped for a few seconds when Alec pressed a kiss to his cheek.

He watched Alec through the window as the cab pulled away until he was no longer in sight.

 

* * *

 

Magnus woke up the next morning slumped over on the arm of the couch, Chairman Meow resting only a few inches from his head, and he let out a groan. His brain felt like it was seconds away from exploding, and the room was spinning slightly as he sat up. He clamped his hand over his mouth and took a few deep breaths through his nose, trying to tame the nausea that was curling in his stomach, but gave up only a few moments later. He sprinted as fast as he could to the bathroom and spent the rest of the morning kneeling over the toilet until he was sure there was nothing left in his stomach to come back up. When he finally gathered the courage to leave the bathroom, he was met with an angry Chairman Meow, who had been impatiently waiting to be fed.

His phone was full of unanswered calls and texts when he finally found it lying on the floor by the coat rack, most of them from Cat demanding to know he was alive. Normally he would call her and go over the events of the night before, but another contact name caught his eye, and once again he felt sick as his gaze landed upon an unopened text from Alec. Everything came rushing back in at once, the sight of Alec’s watery eyes and regretful tone piercing through Magnus’ heart instantly. He read the text over and over, his brain examining each word closely. Alec wanted to meet up for coffee.

It was a simple request, a proposition that Magnus had received a million times before, yet it felt different. Because Alec was different. He had made Magnus laugh more in the one evening they had spent together than most could manage in three dates. He was undeniably sweet, and humble, and just beautiful overall.

But he disappeared.

He gave Magnus hope, turned his shining eyes and wide smile on him and made him feel like things were finally falling into place, and then he dropped off the face of the earth for days without even a heads up. It wasn’t entirely his fault, of course, because Magnus always invested himself too soon, cut his heart in half and handed it over the second it started racing. He could only blame himself for that. But he didn’t know if he could trust someone who immediately planted a seed of abandonment and distrust inside of him. He had experienced enough of that to last multiple lifetimes.

On the other hand, the sincerity in his gaze when he had told Magnus what had happened with his brother was impossible to miss. Magnus knew that emptiness all too well, the loss that ate away at the deepest parts of someone until there was a gaping hole where that person once was in their soul. He could feel that unending ache that came along when his friends discussed their families that were still happy, whole and untouched by tragedy. He hated how bitter he felt sometimes, how cheated, wronged and misplaced he was. He knew that feeling, and he wouldn’t wish it upon anyone.

Many who had never experienced that loss would assume that the grief went away with years, but that was not necessarily the case. It certainly dulled after a while, receded to the back of one’s mind as more and more events ended up first in line, but it always seemed to reappear at the most inconvenient of times. It was a constant ache.

So he picked up his phone and quickly typed out a reply before he could talk himself out of it, and then went to take a shower so he wouldn’t lose his mind while awaiting an answer. He had always thrown caution to the wind when it came to love, and this was no different. He felt a connection with Alec, and he wasn’t going to break it off over a little bit of miscommunication about a sensitive subject. He most likely would have done the same thing if he were in Alec’s position, so he made himself look presentable and agreed to meet him at a diner that was equal distance between both of their apartments and tried not to overthink it.

Alec was already sitting when Magnus arrived, settled into a comfy looking booth toward the back. His fingers were wringing together and his leg bounced as he fidgeted nervously. Magnus took a deep breath and willed his heart to stop racing, and then he walked over to him, sliding into the seat across from him easily. Alec looked up, his eyes widened and his mouth hung open like he hadn’t been expecting him at all.

“Hi,” he breathed out, his hands fluttering uselessly in front of him. “You came.”

“Well, I’ve made a habit of doing what I tell people I’m going to do.” The words slipped out of Magnus’ mouth before he could stop them, his leftover frustration spilling out into the open for both of them to see. He regretted it immediately as Alec’s expression fell, and he pressed his lips into a firm line. “I’m sorry, that was uncalled for.”

“No,” Alec shook his head vehemently and leaned back in his seat. He pulled his hands into his lap, and Magnus wished he had took hold of one of them when he had the chance. “You have a right to be angry with me.”

Magnus reached forward and fiddled with a straw wrapper that someone had left behind, occupying his hands while his mind ran wild. “I’m not angry anymore,” he sighed, flicking his eyes up to meet Alec’s gaze. “You don’t owe me anything. We just met and went on one date. I expected too much of you too soon. I’ve done it before.”

Alec was silent for a moment, his eyes moving back and forth between Magnus’, and then he leaned forward again. He brought his hands back up from under the table and moved one slowly, covering both of Magnus’ in a blanket of warmth. Magnus’ heart jumped in his throat. He had never felt such a strong urge to lean over a table and kiss someone before.

“I don’t know about you, but our first date wasn’t exactly what I’d consider normal, and you’re not just anyone. We may have just met, and we don’t know everything about each other yet, but I _want_ us to, and that includes talking about our pasts and what has hurt us. I was scared to do this for a long time because I thought that if I actually let myself move on and be happy that I’d forget about him.” Alec paused for a moment to clear his throat, and Magnus turned his hands so that he could clutch Alec’s tightly. He knew exactly how that sudden wave of unwelcome emotion felt, and he wanted to be there to keep him afloat.

“That’s not how it works, darling,” Magnus soothed, brushing his thumbs across the back of Alec’s hand. “You have to keep moving forward, but that doesn’t mean that the memory of him is ever left behind. He’ll always be with you, and I’m sure he wouldn’t want you to be miserable for the rest of your life.” Alec nodded and let out a long breath, and Magnus watched the tension bleed out of him as his words sunk in.

“I want to move forward.” His voice was firm, and Magnus’ breath caught with the intensity of his gaze. “And I want to do it with you, so if you are willing to give me a second chance I’d really appreciate it. No more hiding or disappearing or pushing you away. I promise.”

Magnus shook his head slightly as a broad smile spread across his face, and he was no longer worried about his future, because somewhere deep down inside of him he knew that he was staring right at it. “There’s nothing I’d love more, Alexander”

They left the diner an hour later, their stomachs full of belgian waffle and their fingers intertwined as they meandered down the street without any real destination in mind. Magnus felt warm despite the mid-February chill, and he could tell that Alec felt the same just by the rosiness of his cheeks and the smile on his lips- which were just begging to be kissed, in Magnus’ opinion.

They ended up in Prospect Park, and despite the fact that Magnus had walked down the pathways a million times before, they seemed so much more beautiful with Alec by his side. It was as though he magnified everything, made the world bigger and brighter and more overwhelming, but in a good way.

“Is going on walks going to become our thing?” Magnus asked suddenly, breaking the comfortable silence that they had been immersed in. Alec paused, turning to face him with a raised eyebrow, and pulled him out of the way of a group of people that were walking behind them. He guided them over to a nearby tree, circling around it until they were somewhat hidden from view, and Magnus’ stomach fluttered as he continued rambling. “I’m going to need to buy more comfortable shoes, if that’s the case.”

Alec just continued to smile as he gently pushed him until his back was against the tree trunk, and Magnus’ brain was screaming, his pulse so fast he didn’t know how he was still standing. The tension was killing him, the feeling of Alec studying his every reaction reaching deep into his bones and setting his entire being on fire, and despite the fact that his throat felt tight with nerves and excitement and want, he kept talking. “Of course I’ll have to find some that match my many outfits, so you’ll have to give me a heads up next time-”

“Magnus,” he interrupted, mirth present in his voice as he let out a breathy laugh.

“What?” Magnus swallowed in a weak attempt to get the lump out of his throat.

“Please shut up so I can kiss you.” His voice was barely above a whisper, and a shiver ran down Magnus’ spine as he clamped his mouth shut, his eyes dropping down to look at Alec’s lips. They were still curled up in a grin as Alec leaned closer so that they were sharing air, drawing the moment out longer, and Magnus couldn’t take it anymore. He closed the distance completely, swallowing the surprised noise that escaped from Alec’s throat.

His hands traveled up Alec’s arms and tangled in his hair, and the rest of the world fell away. Alec stepped closer so that their bodies were pressed together, his hands cupping Magnus’ cheeks and tilting his head to deepen the kiss. Magnus’ knees felt weaker with every brush of their lips. He had never experienced something this intense before, a push and pull that left both of them gasping for air and still wanting to dive right back in for more. It was unique and exquisite and a luxury that he fully planned to continue indulging in for as long as humanly possible.

Magnus wasn’t sure how long they stayed there, wrapped up in each other’s presence, before Alec finally pulled back, resting his forehead against Magnus’ as he caught his breath. Magnus kept his eyes closed, beaming with happiness and not even bothering to hide it, and he felt the small release of Alec’s breath as he chuckled. He wasn’t sure what they were yet, or what they would become, but he was content to stay in that moment and not give it a second thought. The sun was just beginning to lower in the sky, and it lit up the tips of Alec’s hair, outlining him in a golden hue that Magnus never wanted to look away from.

 _So he wouldn’t_ , he decided then and there.

He wouldn’t.

 

\--- Two Years Later ---

 

“What a surprise,” Raphael muttered as Magnus walked through the entrance of the restaurant. A couple other people on the staff waved at him, including Maia, and he beamed back at them. The walls were covered in hearts just like last year and the year before that, and it made Magnus’ own swell in his chest. “Don’t you have another restaurant you can go bother?”

“I am not going to dignify that with an answer,” Magnus replied, offering his friend a wide grin. “Now, are you going to show me to a table or is this all just an act so that you can spend more time with me?”

Magnus had never seen Raphael move from behind the podium so fast. He followed him out into the dining area, and almost tripped over his own foot when he saw what was waiting for him. Maia was already placing his order down on the table, a mischievous smirk on her face, and across from his seat stood a smug Alec, dressed in a suit and tie. He held out a bouquet of pink flowers, and Magnus took them with narrowed eyes, shaking his head.

“Looks like I won,” Alec bragged as Maia and Raphael walked away, and Magnus stepped closer for a moment to whisper something to his fiancé. His ears were tipped red and a very distracted expression had surfaced on his face by the time Magnus moved back again.

The competitive streak that they both held inside of them took all of two weeks to be revealed once they got together, and it never let up. They had made a silent bet this year about who would get to the restaurant first, and Magnus thought he’d been a shoe-in seeing as Alec had received a call last night saying he needed to stay late at work.

“Let me guess,” Magnus glared mockingly as he sat down, “you had Isabelle call you and stage the whole thing.”

“You know me so well,” Alec teased, reaching across the table to intertwine their fingers. Magnus couldn’t help but smile at him then, not bothering to fight the happiness radiating from his heart at the feeling of the cool metal of Alec’s ring against his skin. It was crazy how fast things had fallen into place for them once they’d decided to move forward in spite of their pasts. Magnus could still remember their meetup in the diner like it happened only hours ago. The only difference was that where there was uncertainty before, there was surety now. They were solid and they were right, and that would never change.

“Hey,” Alec murmured, squeezing Magnus’ hand to pull him out of his thoughts. Their eyes met and Magnus tilted his head, smiling softly as Alec continued. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

Pure love rushed through Magnus’ veins as he witnessed the fond look set on his fiancé’s face, and he let out a small chuckle of disbelief. After so many failed attempts and soul-crushing heartbreaks, he had finally found the person he was meant to be with. _His_ person.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Alexander.”

**Author's Note:**

> I am on tumblr as magnusbicon if any of you want to come chat about this or anything else!


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